CRYPTOTLE

Live website

Order a Brainrito

The full Cryptotle site. Build a bowl, pick GhoulDash or Hearse Express, check out. ETA: eventually.

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1:51

Explainer video

In a world...

Horror-trailer pitch, narrated by Declan Graves. Some humans have shotguns. Buy at 4x. Exit at 12x.

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0:50

Promo spot

What if lunch found you?

The Silicon Valley launch ad. Ukulele, felt piano, three taps, thirty minutes.

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Pitch deck · 13 slides

CHF 6.66M for 25%

The seed pitch. Roll up the morgues, rent the delivery, own the brain supply.

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40Crypts by Y5

CHF 66.6MY5 revenue

4x → 12xEntry → exit

6.66xSeed MOIC

Roll-up model

The numbers add up

Five-year PE roll-up. 74% of the value comes from multiple expansion. As is tradition.

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8 images

Outdoor campaign

Zero churn. They never leave.

Five bulletins plus three Times Square mock-ups. Brains as a Service.

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Google Doc · team

The brand bible

Name, palette, menu, copy jokes and every locked number.

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Google Doc · team

Explainer script

Scene by scene: visuals, on-screen text and narration.

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.pptxEditable deck

.xlsxFull model

.mp4Full-res video

.pngBillboards

Google Drive · team

Source files

Originals to download and edit. Needs access to the shared folder.

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Tip: arrow keys page through the deck and billboards. Heads up: tiles marked "team" open Google Drive and need access to the shared folder. Everything else works for anyone with this link.